Jim: It's kind of blurry. That's better. Question. What kind of bear is best?

Dwight: That's a ridiculous question.

Jim: False. Black bear.

Dwight: Well that's debatable. There are basically two schools of thought.

Jim: Fact. Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

Dwight: Bears do not--- What is going on--- What are you doing?!

Jim: Last week, I was in a drug store and I saw these glasses. Uh, four dollars. And it only cost me seven dollars to recreate the rest of the ensemble. And that's a grand total of... eleven dollars.

Dwight: You know what? Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, so I thank you. Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year!

Jim: ... Michael!

Dwight: Oh, that's funny. Michael!

Kelly: Look, I know the reason that you guys became accountants is because you're not good at interacting with people. But guess what? From now on, you guys are no longer losers! So give yourselves a round of applause.

Oscar: I wonder how many phone calls you're missing while you're teaching us to answer calls.

Kelly: I know, right? Probably a lot.

Angela: Can you just tell us what we need to do so we can go?

Kelly: OK, Angela. I love your enthusiasm. All you need to know how to do is pick up the phone and say "Customer Service, this is Kelly!" Except don't say "Kelly," say your own name. Or if you're bored, you can just make up a name. Like one time, I said I was Bridget Jones, and I talked like this for the whole conversation!

Kevin: Oh! Can I be Australian, mate?

Kelly: Absolutely!

Kevin: Hello, mate!

Kelly: I like ice cream! I need a boyfriend.

Kevin: I like ice cream too, mate. Alligators and dingo babies.

Jim: Oh, Andy. You know what? We don't have a lot of time, so we should probably...

Andy: Jamie!

Jim: Andy, Ohh...

Andy: What are you doing here?

Jamie: Andy?

Andy: Are you a student here?

Jamie: Oh... yeah...

Andy: You never told me you were in high-school!

Jamie: This is weird. I... gotta go to Spanish.

Andy: OH MY GOD!

Jim: Oh my God.

Andy: I had no idea.

Jim: Well... that's not gonna hold up in court.

Andy: Huh... We didn't do anything illegal. Except knock over a mailbox with her friends.

OK, first, I just wanna say that you are doing sooo good. Look, you have so many good qualities, that the one that you might wanna work on is, apologizing?

Michael: And so, with the eyes of the nation upon us, I would like to say that Dunder Mifflin truly regrets this unfortunate incident. And, as a gesture of gratitude, for your continued loyalty, Mrs. Allen, I would like to present you with this novelty check, for six months of free paper or 25 reams, whichever comes first.

Dwight: You look good in this.

Michael: So, let us consider this matter ended.

Barbara: Well it isn't ended. I'm very angry. I could have lost business.

Michael: I know, I know you're angry. And we are truly, truly sorry.

Barbara: I don't accept your apology. The watermark was obscene and horrifying.

Michael: Well, we are extremely sorry.

Barbara: I don't accept.

Principal: The issue with the watermark is very serious.

Jim: Absolutely.

Principal: We teach our students that character counts.

Jim: And you should.

Principal: But

Andy: [scoffs] Pfft. You don't teach it well enough. One of your students is a bitch.

Jim: Andy is having a real rough day today.

Andy: I want to take out an ad, in your yearbook. A full page, two words

Jim: "Good luck."

Andy: That's not what I had in mind.

Kelly: Ask where he's from.

Angela: Where are you from? Ohio? That's nice. So what do you want? He's upset about the watermark.

Kelly: OK, great. Now tell him that it was an unfortunate error, and we're doing everything we can do to fix it, and that you're sorry.

Angela: It was an unfortunate error. We're fixing it. And you already got your money back.

Kelly: And you're sorry.

Angela: And the company has already apologized, so you can take that apology or not. I think he had Tourette's or something!

※Tourette, ツレット症候群（男性に多い運動神経障害の一種）

Dwight: I grew up on a farm. I have seen animals having sex in every position imaginable. Goat on chicken. Chicken on goat. Couple of chickens doin' a goat, couple of pigs watching. Whoever drew this got it exactly right.

Creed: I feel terrible about Debbie Brown. She got fired because of Dwight. So I thought I'd pass around a goodbye card, maybe everyone could put in a couple of bucks to help her through these difficult times. Why do bad things always happen to the good people? It's tragic. Just tragic.